Epic Perfect World

Starting the first story I will write in English -update

Offline ܣᏁᎧᏉܣ

  • The Author
  • They are not strong, you are just too weak...
  • Characters: Fadlazzz


[shadow=red,left]This is an excerpt to my upcoming story. I hope you'll like it. Also, any suggestions, corrections or violent reactions, are welcome. I want to improve my writing skills using English. TYVM [/shadow]


[shadow=red,left]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/shadow]
[shadow=red,left]I started the story already and had just finished chapter 1 and posted it in wattpad [/shadow][shadow=red,left]Any constructive criticisms and suggestions are very welcome. TY[/shadow]
Last Edit: Mar 01, 2015, 08:37 am by Von

EricaMurcas

It seems like a very promising start! I'm liking the concept of banishing a soul, and how it feels as the soul slowly slips away. There were only a few grammatical errors, but let's be honest here: Everyone has their unique writing style, who am I to say what is correct and what is not? The way I see it, as long as you're not butchering the English language to the point where it is unreadable, you're doing pretty damn well. I hope to see more of your story, as it has piqued my interest. Keep writing, you have your readers.

Wishing you the best!

Offline WorldsApart

  • avatar
  • WorldsApart
  • You lost because you had me as your opponent. -Rob
  • Characters: WorldsApart
  • Faction: Ducks
Nice work vonnie. :) keep it up!
:tiger-40: QUACK QUACK QUACK :tiger-40:

Offline eon

  • eager 2 learn new things
  • THINK - The Human Intelligence Nears Knowledge??
  • Characters: rishi
  • Faction: Ducks,ALTS
nice start von best wishes

do share more in future if this is a part time hobby or link to wherever the rest of your story can be found once you finish it

thank you in advance happy gaming have a nice time always :)

Signature Credits: http://lonicera-mancer.deviantart.com/
Self Freedom applies only when it doesn't affects the Freedom of another person who follows this quote
happy gaming, have a nice time both in game and in real life :)

PS: Like Insanity's ornaments of magic dmg red/def lvls

http://www.ducks.shivtr.com/
http://alts.shivtr.com/

Offline Drive

  • Forum Veteran
I liked the start,i'll be sure to check rest of the story out when you write it.
The only thing is that the font is kinda hard to read.
But nonetheless gj. O:-)
Inactive.
Signature by Rumi.

Offline ܣᏁᎧᏉܣ

  • The Author
  • They are not strong, you are just too weak...
  • Characters: Fadlazzz
[shadow=red,left]updated[/shadow]

Offline Eternity

  • Old Player
  • Characters: CuIt | Tournesol | Cadge
  • Faction: Siege


[shadow=red,left]This is an excerpt to my upcoming story. I hope you'll like it. Also, any suggestions, corrections or violent reactions, are welcome. I want to improve my writing skills using English. TYVM [/shadow]


[shadow=red,left]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/shadow]
[shadow=red,left]I started the story already and had just finished chapter 1 and posted it in wattpad [/shadow][shadow=red,left]Any constructive criticisms and suggestions are very welcome. TY[/shadow]
I really like it but what annoyed me most is the bold red letters. They made my eyes hurt and it made it difficult to read. I'll be checking every now and then the link for your story intrigued me.