Jokes Bench

[Sleep]

TY, Ivan.

[Nyx]

I noticed this Thread needed a little life breathed back into it, so I thought I'd do the honours

My step dad decided to share this with us around the table for a family dinner.
Please don't throw rotten tomatoes my way haha

Joke: Why was Kim Jong-un so good at running his Country?

***

Answer: Because it was his korea.

Hopefully you get it 

[Eimina]

I noticed this Thread needed a little life breathed back into it, so I thought I'd do the honours

My step dad decided to share this with us around the table for a family dinner.
Please don't throw rotten tomatoes my way haha

Joke: Why was Kim Jong-un so good at running his Country?

***

Answer: Because it was his korea.

Hopefully you get it 

aha.

what does an Asian math student call their teacher?

sen3.14

[iota]

aha.

what does an Asian math student call their teacher?

sen3.14

Actually, senpai is used to refer to upperclassmen or someone you look up to, not teachers. That would be sensei.

[Eimina]

Actually, senpai is used to refer to upperclassmen or someone you look up to, not teachers. That would be sensei.

dont be a party pooper. its just a joke

[Nea]

a guy , that every1 thought he is dumb, challenges all his army team to a bet for 50k euro
if he loses, he will pay 50k euro, if they lose, they will all together pay in total 50k euro and he gets permission 6months
the challenge was to make the donky in the army yard  laugh like a mad psycho
the guy thinks for 3 days, the 4th day goes to all of them and tells them to watch
the guy goes to the donky and no1 knew what he said but the donky laughed so hard that he pissed on the grass and started rolling all over the camp, couldnt stop laughing
the little guy comes to his comrades and they pay the bet and he gets permission for 6months
----
now that his permission is over, he comes back in the camp and every1 wanted to get their money back
they put a new challenge
'if u make the donky cry, we will give u 100k euro and u are free to quit army with no comebacks
if u lose, you give us 100k euro and u are forced to stay in army untill you are sent out for being useless physically'
he accepts
he goes the same day at the donky, all watching
he turns around, with the back facing every1 that joined the bet
and all of a sudden the donky cries so hard, waterfalls, he jumps off a nearly cliff and dies
every1 was amazed, how did he do that, what did he do, why was the donky so sad
so they told the little guy that they will pay a good car just to know how he did it
the little guy says :
- At start u asked me to make him laugh. I decided to tell him that my d**k is bigger than his, i told him that and he died of laughter because im short and his race has a big D already. I won the money.
The group :
- And to make him cry?
The guy :
- I realised that this will happen so before this i got some viagra. U told me to do it, i went to the donky and showed him that is true, my D is bigger.

[zRainx]

a guy , that every1 thought he is dumb, challenges all his army team to a bet for 50k euro
if he loses, he will pay 50k euro, if they lose, they will all together pay in total 50k euro and he gets permission 6months
the challenge was to make the donky in the army yard  laugh like a mad psycho
the guy thinks for 3 days, the 4th day goes to all of them and tells them to watch
the guy goes to the donky and no1 knew what he said but the donky laughed so hard that he pissed on the grass and started rolling all over the camp, couldnt stop laughing
the little guy comes to his comrades and they pay the bet and he gets permission for 6months
----
now that his permission is over, he comes back in the camp and every1 wanted to get their money back
they put a new challenge
'if u make the donky cry, we will give u 100k euro and u are free to quit army with no comebacks
if u lose, you give us 100k euro and u are forced to stay in army untill you are sent out for being useless physically'
he accepts
he goes the same day at the donky, all watching
he turns around, with the back facing every1 that joined the bet
and all of a sudden the donky cries so hard, waterfalls, he jumps off a nearly cliff and dies
every1 was amazed, how did he do that, what did he do, why was the donky so sad
so they told the little guy that they will pay a good car just to know how he did it
the little guy says :
- At start u asked me to make him laugh. I decided to tell him that my d**k is bigger than his, i told him that and he died of laughter because im short and his race has a big D already. I won the money.
The group :
- And to make him cry?
The guy :
- I realised that this will happen so before this i got some viagra. U told me to do it, i went to the donky and showed him that is true, my D is bigger.

good  a very nice joke

[zRainx]

Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.

[Euikon]

2 blondes in shower:
Blonde#1:Hey use this shampoo is for dry hair
Blonde#2:But my hair is wet ?

[Nea]

Infront of Gouvernment building blondes make a protest
All of them having banners with the following text
'Not only blondes are stupid'

A guy enters a bar and says to the bartender:
-A tequilla for me, one for u  and for every1 in this bar aswell.
The guy follows the order, gives to every1. Now, when is the time to pay, the client says he has no money so the bartender beats him up and kicks him out the bar
The second day the same guy comes to the same bartender :
- A tequilla for me and for every1 in this bar aswell. The bartender replies :
- None for me?
- No, you become violent after u take a shot...

[BarbWired]

A blonde is in the desert with her 2 brunette friends. They are walking and walking and stumble upon a lamp containing a genie. The genie grants each girl one wish. The first brunette wishes to be back with her family at home. The second brunette wishes to go to her boyfriend's house. The blonde, realizing her friends are gone, says "I wish my friends were here!"

[Hyperconcious]

A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The dwarf stares and says "You’re the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies " I’m 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown.” The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I’m 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown.” The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. “For a minute there, I thought you said ‘Turn Around’.”

[💀PotatoMan💀]

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. 

One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. 

His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.


A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen.
His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?"


"Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"


His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?"


"I got fired."


"No, Bill -- I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"


"Oh, um, she got fired, too."