Jokes Bench

[☠EvilTouch☠]

I just thought it would be cool to have a place with jokes ^^
For those who are a bit bored of the game or their school or work, they can just come here and read a good joke.

Regulations to post a joke:

• The joke may not be racist, sexist nor contain sexual slang references;
• The joke will be read and check by the GM's and check for any rules violation;
• After the joke is checked it will be added to this main post as a "spoiler" and deleted afterwards;
• spoiler will contain poster name + the joke

~Jokes~

Old man goes to the Hospital
- Hey Doc.
- Hey Mr. Andrew

Doctor: Is something wrong ? For your age i have to ask all this routine questions.
Mr. Andrew: Nothing at all, i feel totally fine no problems what so ever...For you to have an idea, im 75 and my wife which is 26 years old is pregnant ! I couldn't be happier...
Doctor: Hmm Mr. Andrew, i will tell you a story. There was a hunter who never missed an hunting day. He was always there for the hunt, everyday. One day he left home in hurry and grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun but he was so in hurry he didn't even notice. When he was at the hunting grounds...he saw a bear...the bear started to come at him, in his direction so he had to act quick...he pulled the umbrella out and shot the bear...the bear fell dead.
Mr. Andrew: Doctor please...cmon...that is impossible. Someone else had to kill the bear.
Doctor: Exactly Mr. Andrew.

Why was blonde disappointed after arriving to London?
She saw that Big Ben is only a clock.

2 hunters are out in the woods, trying to hunt game. All of a sudden, one of the hunters falls on to the ground. The other hunter calls 911 and asks what to do.
Hunter: My friend just fell onto the ground, dead!
Operator: Calm down sir. Make sure he is dead and has not had a seizure.
The operator hears a gunshot in the background.
Hunter: Okay he's dead, now what?!

[Lolly]

Why was blonde disappointed after arriving to London?
She saw that Big Ben is only a clock.

2 hunters are out in the woods, trying to hunt game. All of a sudden, one of the hunters falls on to the ground. The other hunter calls 911 and asks what to do.
Hunter: My friend just fell onto the ground, dead!
Operator: Calm down sir. Make sure he is dead and has not had a seizure.
The operator hears a gunshot in the background.
Hunter: Okay he's dead, now what?!

Best laugh today yet.

[Unicorn2]

I giggled.

[ᴰᴱᴬᴰ†]

A joke without racism, sexism and sexual slang

is black humor allowed? if it's not about black people ofc

[PlumSauce]

Old man goes to the Hospital
- Hey Doc.
- Hey Mr. Andrew

Doctor: Is something wrong ? For your age i have to ask all this routine questions.
Mr. Andrew: Nothing at all, i feel totally fine no problems what so ever...For you to have an idea, im 75 and my wife which is 26 years old is pregnant ! I couldn't be happier...
Doctor: Hmm Mr. Andrew, i will tell you a story. There was a hunter who never missed an hunting day. He was always there for the hunt, everyday. One day he left home in hurry and grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun but he was so in hurry he didn't even notice. When he was at the hunting grounds...he saw a bear...the bear started to come at him, in his direction so he had to act quick...he pulled the umbrella out and shot the bear...the bear fell dead.
Mr. Andrew: Doctor please...cmon...that is impossible. Someone else had to kill the bear.
Doctor: Exactly Mr. Andrew.

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I GET IT NOW

[eel stirfry]

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I GET IT NOW

Such late.

[PlumSauce]

Such late.

IKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 

[Boddgy]

read this joke Police: Where do u live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With Me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house.
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell Me!
Me: Next to my house.

[Boddgy]

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment.

[ᴰᴱᴬᴰ†]

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment.

LOLOLSOTLTAOTL


only I didn't try 2


it should have said "you can't say "M" when touching your lips, would be better

[Boddgy]

lol sure u didnt

[Boddgy]

Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I'm home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.

[ᴰᴱᴬᴰ†]

lol sure u didnt

I really didn't

[Boddgy]

I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

[Boddgy]

your all welcome for those good laughs muahahahaha  lets have a joke contest